It is unlikely that Tommy Docherty will be fazed by any unfavourable comment in the public prints on the subject of his latest book. One of his many witticisms is: “There is a place for the press in football – only they haven’t dug it yet.”

The most readable bit of the book is the short selection of the Doc’s wit and wisdom. Like his analysis of where it all went wrong for a certain Manchester United player: “One of George Best’s problems was he was a light sleeper. When it got light he went home and went to sleep.”

He is not slow to point out some of the low points of his own career: “I promised Rotherham I would take them out of the second division and I did – into the third division.”

There is more than a hint of the surreal about Docherty. He once advised Sir Stanley Matthews: “Stan, should you ever find yourself being chased by a police dog, don’t crawl under a tarpaulin, run up a little flight of steps, then jump through a hoop of fire. They’re trained for that.”

A Gorbals boy, the Doc has insight into his native city: “Because of televising around the world, Jim Watt fought for the world title at two in the morning. What they didn’t know was that was to Jim’s advantage. Everybody fights at two in the morning in Glasgow.” Docherty waxes extremely lyrical as he evokes the Glasgow of his youth: “The trams hissed like ganders as they made their predetermined, unalterable route around the city. There would be a sudden sharp clangour of bells, the asthmatic cough of a steam locomotive clearing its throat on the road to Carlisle and ultimately London.”

The book reveals another gentler side of the man: the Doc as scone-maker. When he played with Preston North End, he was co-owner of a café. After training, when fellow players would repair to snooker halls and bookies, the Doc would be in the kitchen turning his hand to a spot of baking. Jimmy Greaves once described him as “the Elizabeth David of 1950s football”.

blazer trail

WHEN Docherty was a player, the football authorities imposed a maximum wage. Players who today would command millions of pounds a year had to be content with £14 a week. As one of the Doc’s colleagues at Preston said: “You can name your own salary in this business. I’m going to call mine Arthur.”

The wages were even lower for players on international duty for Scotland. Docherty played for Scotland in the 1954 World Cup in Switzerland. The players were offered £15 per game or they could keep their shirts in lieu of payment.

This was the disastrous campaign when Scotland took a squad of only 13 players. They were outnumbered by the phalanx of SFA blazers freeloading on the trip. We lost 7-0 to Uruguay. The manager resigned after one game.

One of the blazers decided to give some of the players a pep talk: “Let me give you some advice about the Austrian players. When you take to the field remember this word – dexterity. The Austrian players are very dexterous.” The dexterous Austrians won 1-0.

As the Doc observes, you will see many memorials to football players and managers but have you ever seen a statue dedicated to a committee?

The Doc’s book is great value at £16.99 and even has three titles: My Story. The Doc. Hallowed Be Thy Game.

sent to siberia

WITH time on his hands at the Lithuanian rest home, Valdas Ivanauskas might be reading the Hearts website to keep tabs on the club of which he is technically still head coach.

It will not be pleasant reading. Club owner Vladimir Romanov explained to fans the thinking behind the extended football coaching department he has put in place.

“I know Valdas very well as a coach,” Romanov said. “He lacks a little bit of experience to coach a club as big as Hearts.” Speaking of the young players at Hearts, Romanov said: “Under a bad coach they will never develop. I said this to you that Valdas lacks experience with young players making them into stars. That’s why I brought Eduard Malofeev in to assist the process.”

So, when Valdas’s recuperation period is over, will it be back to his job at Hearts or perhaps a lengthier spell somewhere like Siberia? He may not be reassured by Romanov’s comment: “I want to make an official statement that I have never found a better coach than Malofeev.”