Helping those who are hurting :
Self-harming is a significant problem among young people but, says Jenifer Johnston, there are those who can help.
LINDSEY is 15. Like a lot of girls, she has wristbands up her right arm, a big watch and another wristband on her left. But unlike a lot of girls, she never takes them off.
She has a criss-cross of pale marks across the inside of both arms, scars from last Christmas when she cut herself several times. She cut herself about twice a week until January this year. ''I was getting really angry all the time'' she says. ''I was angry at my mum, my dad, my sister, my friends as well. People talking to me annoyed me, so then I ignored everyone and then I was upset because no-one was talking to me. I was just angry and cutting myself made me feel better.''
Lindsey's parents were very shocked that she had been cutting herself - they wanted to take her to a doctor. Lindsey didn't want to, but she spoke to a counsellor instead. ''Basically it was stupid, because I have all these scars now, although they aren't very big, I'm a bit embarrassed about it,'' she says. ''But at the time I couldn't control anything I was feeling, and I just wanted to hurt myself.
''But when I was talking to the counsellor she helped me see I wasn't a freak for my feelings and that lots of people feel angry when they are teenagers. Now when I get angry I just try to think about what it is I'm actually upset about, rather than cut myself.''
Self-harming is a bit of a grisly issue. Basically it is when someone hurts themselves deliberately. Some people cut themselves, or stop eating, or take substances like painkillers or alcohol.
ChildLine took 4300 calls from young people last year about self- harming, about 30% more calls than in 2002. Nine out of 10 of the calls were from girls. The government is doing a lot of research to find out how big the problem really is. But if someone is feeling a bit anxious or upset, acting like Lindsey might not make a lot of sense - if you don't feel great in the first place, then why would you do something that is going to hurt even more?
''Sometimes life gets so chaotic that young people can feel they can't control anything that is going on around them, but the one thing they can control is what they do when they self-harm,'' says Alison Todd of Childline Scotland. ''It's about control and coping with the problems young people are facing at that particular time. They are trying to cope with other things in their life by self-harming.''
David, now 17, is one of those people. He was bulimic for four months when he was 15. Lots of people think bulimia (making yourself sick) and anorexia (thinking you are overweight, and then not eating enough) are things that just affect girls. But it happens to boys too.
''I started making myself vomit after meals because I split up with my girlfriend and then we got back together and then we split up again,'' David says. ''Everyone was talking about us. It was coming up to my Highers - I felt very low and miserable, and there was just something about being empty made myself feel better. ''It was like punishing myself for everything going wrong all at once.''
David isn't very tall, and he lost more than a stone over those four months by never keeping his breakfast or lunch down. ''It was a very weird few weeks - I basically gave up everything, apart from squash, and stopped seeing a lot of people,'' he says. ''I knew I was losing weight and when I was at the squash court I was getting a bit woozy when I was playing. Despite getting an A in biology I didn't put two and two together and realise that I hadn't kept enough down to keep going.''
One of David's friends caught him being sick, and got his big brother to talk to him about his problems. ''He made me see that I was hurting myself. I hadn't really thought how miserable I was, but my ex really messed with my head. I would never have told my parents, but talking to my pal's brother was okay, he didn't laugh or anything.''
Research that has been carried out so far has shown that a lot of people are like David and Lindsey and don't seek medical help for their self-harming behaviour, even if they might need it.
A special edition of Well? magazine supported by YoungScot, the national youth information agency and edited, designed and compiled by a team of young people, says that 24,000 young people are admitted to hospital every year with self-harming injuries, a small percentage of the people who actually self-harm.
Research has shown that physical or sexual abuse, bullying, bereavement, exam stress or upheaval at home can all be things that ''trigger'' people into self-harming.
Nigel Henderson, chief executive of Penumbra, a Scottish voluntary organisation working in the field of mental health. ''A lot of young people are embarrassed about what they've been doing, and are anxious that no-one finds out. But there are ways out of it - self-harming is not something that is going to last forever.''
Martin Raymond of Health Scotland agrees. ''Self-harming is often quite hidden. Young people are often embarrassed to talk about it, and can feel down because they are carrying quite a burden,'' Martin says. ''We know that hurting yourself in some way is not the only problem - self-harming is usually triggered by other issues.
''However, it is really important to talk things over with someone you can trust. Self-harming can affect self-esteem and confidence, and there are lots of people who can help.''
For more information and help:
www.breathingspacescotland.co.uk or call 0800 83 85 87
www.penumbra.org.uk or call 0131 475 2380
www.childline.org.uk or call 0800 11 11 (the number won't appear on your bill)
Samaritans 08457 90 90 90 (24 hours, 365 days)
Mental Health Foundation Scotland 0141 572 0125
How to help
What to do if a friend is self-harming
If you think someone you know isn't coping with stuff that's going on, then talk to them - be a good listener, and don't judge them for what's going on in their lives.
But look after yourself too - it can be a lot to handle if someone is confiding serious stuff in you. Childline suggest that you call them and talk about what's going on to make sure you don't get too stressed.
Sometimes adults need to be involved to help as well - if you are nervous about speaking to an adult about what's going on with your mate then you can call Childline and rehearse what you are going to say.
What to do if you are self-harming
Find an adult or a good friend that you trust to talk to.
Is there another part of your life where you might have some problems - a difficult relationship with a parent or brother or sister, bullying or exam stress?
Don't think that you are alone in this - there are plenty of people that can help, and no-one will judge you.
Some basic tips for good mental wellbeing are to get regular exercise, have a good, balanced diet and talk to someone if you have a problem - don't let things build up.
HELEN'S STORY
Helen, now 24, started self-harming when she was 16.
''Its hard to remember a time when I didn't cut. Cutting myself has become a way to help me deal with things that hurt or stress me.
''The first time I cut I didn't have a clue what I was doing. It was a strange feeling just to pick up a piece of glass and scratch my arm, and even stranger to discover that it made me feel better.
''It helped the emotional pain I was feeling leave me because it was a physical pain I could understand.
''My mother had thrown me out of her house when I was 16, so I got a flat with the Young Singles Homeless Project in Aberdeen. That was when the cutting properly started.
''Being alone, studying for highers and trying to pay the bills was hard. I knew I needed help - I was so frightened I would get locked up.
''Eventually I spoke to the school nurse, it felt so good to talk to someone who assured me I wasn't crazy.
''I was referred to a psychiatrist and I began to explore and find out the real reasons why I was cutting myself.
''Now I see a good psychiatrist once every three months, and a good psychologist once a week.
''I try to use distraction techniques like listening to music and singing along, reading calling a friend, or doing something nice for myself.''
Helen is in the next special issue of Well? magazine. This edition has information about self harming, as well as articles on celebrity lifestyles and positive mental health. Well? magazine is available on the web at www.wellontheweb.org and with the current issue of the Big Issue in Scotland.